Managing expectations; it’s an interesting concept because it’s almost like placing a bet on a poker hand. On the one hand (no pun intended), you want to maximize your bet and try to get as much out of the hand as possible. On the other, you’re not absolutely certain what the dealer has so you bet the farm in case you don’t have the best hand. I feel that way with managing expectations.
On the one hand, you want to be optimistic, you want to hope for the best and strive for that. At the same time, you don’t want to set your expectations so high that you get incredibly disappointed when what you were hoping for doesn’t happen.
‘Tis the case with this new computer business idea that I’m venturing on. I do feel like this is truly the direction that God wants me to head into right now so I want to honour that and pursue it with all my effort and hope that God will do amazing things. Yet at the same time, I’m starting to see certain realities that’s causing me to doubt the process. Or rather, I’m beginning to face realities that may be coming in direct opposition to my plans and how I envision things happening. But I guess as I write this, I already hear myself. “Your plans eh, Kelvin? What happened to God’s plans?”
You see, I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time in prayer and deliberation about the process of how all of this is to go down. First, teach a course for 3 months and get students learning and excited for web development. Go back home in the summer and attempt to raise some capital to start a business. Come back in the Fall and start some more of intensive teaching sessions and begin to develop some websites. Slowly form a business and start officially hiring the students full-time. Further promote and teach web development by empowering the students to become the teachers. Grow the business and start providing educational resources to local migrant schools. Empower a generation of teachers and students by providing them with resources that were previously not available thereby liberating them from the cycles of poverty.
Sounds great doesn’t it? Except I can’t even keep the 8 students that have signed up for my inaugural class. After weeks of preparation, today I taught 2 students. One of whom is moving back to the Philippines in a month. That tends to take some air out of the tires of optimism when you’re expecting to hire the very students that you’re teaching.
But as I write this in self-pity and frustration, I am re-reading what I’m typing that I can’t help but to hear God’s voice. “It’s not about you, it’s about me. It’s my plan, not yours.”
I feel like God often needs to remind us of that and we usually only remember when He strips everything away from us, leaving us frustrated, confused, and vulnerable. It is then that we hopefully remember that it indeed isn’t about us. It’s not about what we can do. It’s not about what we have planned. It’s about doing our best to give Him the glory. It’s about letting go of our plans and rely on Him to give us constant direction.
So as I walk out of my class today, I once again let go of all my preconceived notions of what this is all suppose to look like. Instead, I will refocus my eyes on God to look for direction. To hope but to place my hope in Him. When you have the highest hand possible, you can’t lose. I’m All In.
Originally posted to Life Passions