Anger, Frustration and Perfectionism

just laura...

I haven’t blogged in ages but lately I’ve been feeling the need to put pen to paper and just let out my anger, my frustrations and all the other feelings floating around in my heart and my mind. Since I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like random pieces of paper lying around my pen and paper are my cell phone and the fancy app that is this blog.
I don’t remember ever getting this frustrated so easily ever before. Ya, my little sister was pretty good at pushing my buttons (up until I got married-then I think she missed me to much) and my dad was phenomenal at upsetting me (anyone remember my 16th birthday party?). Lately though, I wins up in a coworkers office multiple times a day because I just need to vent.
Clearly I haven’t vented enough because when I get home Troy has to hear all about it. He’s a great husband and actually listens when I vent but lately his advice hasn’t been enough. “Don’t let her get to you”, “if you get angry she’s winning” and quoting me with “like you said it’s not a big deal, just let it go”.
I know I shouldn’t get this angry, it’s so out of character for me. I’m like a tumbleweed, I just let things blow over me (worst simile ever?).
It makes me wonder why? What’s changed in my life in the past few months that could be playing a part in all the anger?
I haven’t been reading as much- but I’ve been doing other relaxing things like playing Christmas mahjong (addict). I’ve been drinking more water- but not enough to make me angry. My sister and her husband have been back in town- but they aren’t causing me any grief.
It most be something more, something deeper. It makes me wonder if God is trying to speak to me and I’m just not listening. It makes me wonder if I’ve changed in other ways that I may not have noticed yet.
My patience is wearing thin (with one person only). I’m constantly feeling rushed (although that’s not really unusual). My quality time spent with Troy hasn’t been enough (due to holidays).
Could I just be overwhelmed? Needing rest?
The more I write (type), the more I feel God reminding me of a verse. Something like, come to me all who are weary and I’ll give you rest. Please excuse me while I go find it (or feel free to try and find it quicker than me- sword drills anyone).

Matthew 11:28-31?“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
It’s funny how God knows what we need and funnier how he knows to get a hold of our hearts. He created me with a love of writing, with a need to process things with pen and paper and in doing those things he frees my mind so that I can hear him.
This blog post is sounding a lot more like a diary entry than a blog. But maybe someone out there reading this is wondering how to hear from God. Maybe my post today is for more people than just me. If God gave you a passion for nature, get out there and enjoy the winter wonderland (cold Canadian here). If God made you extremely social, go grab coffee with some friends. If God gave you a passion for books, start reading.
God speaks, are you ready to listen?

Originally posted to just laura...